Many of you who follow our blog will recall that during late winter I began cutting the kids’ and Chris’ hair. I am happy to report that round #2 on the men’s hair was entirely satisfactory. I am getting better with the clippers and with layering the top to blend with the buzzed sides and back.

Round #2 on the girls was not too bad, but we are still waiting for Katie’s hair to grow out a bit more so I can even up most of it with a chunk I cut too short on one side.

Earlier this week I went to Crysti for a hair cut and colour (just can’t quite bring myself to do it myself). Crysti Summers has been cutting and colouring my (and the girls’) hair for the last 10 years. She didn’t seem too upset when I told her earlier this year that I’d taken on the girls’ dos. In fact, she gave me some great tips!

She’s also been ripping out my eyebrows for about a decade, too. Brow waxing is something I’ve had done since beginning my PR career in Toronto in 1990. To me it’s like going to the dentist for teeth cleaning; the procedure is bearable but unenjoyable but you feel much sleeker afterwards.

About 12 years ago my sister-in-law bought her own pot of wax and began doing her own eyebrows. I have always wanted to try but wondered if I’d be able to stand it; I’m one of those people who has to give myself a pep talk before peeling off a band-aid. And, I will often convince myself that a slowly removed bandage surely won’t hurt as much…

In February we celebrated my birthday (which was actually in January, but with sick kids, sick Sandra…you get the picture). During my dinner out in Kamloops I popped into Chatters, a beauty supply store, to check out hair cutting supplies. Lo and behold, there was a waxing pot and all the paraphernalia to professionally remove ANY unwanted hair. On the spur of the moment, I gifted myself. To the tune of $145 taxes in. I figured at $15 a pop going to Crysti, I could justify the expense in just over a year, if I used the wax once a month. And, with two girls in the house, this might be a really frugal purchase!!

Before anyone accuses me of not supporting my local salon, I am not a big money maker for Crysti. I’ve watched women go through her salon and they get the whole schmoo done: nails, face, hair (cut and colour) and then pop into the tanner. I tend to get so busy that I forget that my hair is scraggly and that my grey is popping out all over the place. If I see her every two months I’d be surprised… (O.k. I DO feel guilty, but my desire to keep this “mostly retired” scenario possible is overcoming it little by little. I like NOT working right now!)

And, please realize that it’s taken me four months to gather up the courage to blog about this very personal topic; I’d be happy if people thought I never had my hair coloured or my brows waxed! I have this fear that everyone I know will now be flicking their eyes up when they talk to me at the kids’ ball practice, or at a 4-H meeting to see the state of my brows! Hopefully one day I will get an award for sacrificing my personal life in the name of frugal experimentation!

I digress. Pleased to no end I opened all my new stuff the next evening and carefully read the instructions. Once the kids were in bed, I plugged the unit in and popped it to high and waited. And waited, and waited. After 30 minutes it seemed good to go and I turned it down to medium for awhile (as instructed). After a little longer I decided it was time to go for it!

I took my hair clip and clipped my bangs back. Then I took the little popsicle stick and dipped it into the wax. Cool. The wax was silver (a zinc formulation to go easy on my brows) and it looked quite neat. I never knew wax could stretch like mozzarella cheese, though. After I couldn’t bring my hand up any higher, I jumped up on the chair and kept going, twirling the stick like spaghetti. Finally I broke the connection to the pot.

After sitting down, I raised the stick to my face, only to foolishly realize that I had no mirror in the kitchen. Twirling the stick, I raced to the bathroom, where resides our only mirror. After bringing my face REALLY close to the mirror I realized I couldn’t see my eyebrows very well. I raced to the bedroom and put on my reading glasses. I raced back to the bathroom and put the stick back to my eyebrow. And pulled out a patch of hair from the middle of my head in the process. Crap. Ouch. It’s difficult to keep track of that little stick! I pulled the hair out of the wax and tried again only to realize that my glasses were in the way. I pushed them further down my nose and tried yet again. I managed to get a little round ball of wax on the edge of my left eyebrow and no matter what I did I couldn’t spread it.

I ran back to the kitchen and grabbed a piece of muslin and pushed it on the wax. Worried now that I wouldn’t get the wax off at all, I pulled as hard as I could. I removed three eyebrow hairs…and a patch of skin. Ow!

Chris sat back on the couch looking amused and asked if everything was o.k. Yup, yup, yup. Did I need help with anything? Nope, nope, nope. I surreptitiously pulled a bottle of wine out of the fridge and poured a totful in Helen’s Barbie Princess cup. (Covert operations).

I felt the damage. Just a little bleeding. I meandered nonchalantly to the bathroom with Chris’ eyes following me (in just 600 square feet you pretty much can feel the pulse of most activities in the house, unfortunately). I surveyed the damage. I ripped the skin WAY below the brow, so I was good to go again.

I went back to the kitchen and dipped the other end of the stick in the pot, too late realizing that I probably wasn’t fit (what with the wine and everything) to handle a double ended waxer. I left the stick in the pot, resolving to deal with it when the deed was done. Then a brainwave hit that really should have occurred to me sooner. Move the pot into the bathroom! Right on. I moved the pot, but felt it more prudent to leave the wine in the kitchen.

I felt even smarter when I thought to close the door to the bathroom as the living room has clear access to the bathroom door. O.K. I very carefully applied the wax in a line underneath my left eyebrow, being very careful to miss the bleeding patch. It went on smoothly and looked good. I pressed on the muslin and waited a few seconds. I took a deep breath and pulled. After my eyes stopped watering I took a look, pushing my glasses further up my nose. Not bad. So I did the other eye. I took a deep breath and pulled. Ow! I stomped my foot only to realize just in time that the pot was right underneath it. I managed to hop backwards, but thought it wise to move the pot back to the kitchen.

After several mad dashes between the kitchen and bathroom, I was finished the waxing portion of my ablutions and surveyed the job. Hmmm. A little off kilter. So, with tweezers in hand I started grabbing. It’s a lot harder lining up the tweezers to a tiny little hair than you may think. After 20 minutes of tweezing I decided I’d done enough damage and realized if I was lucky at least I wouldn’t draw attention to myself with my lopsided brows.

I carefully marked a -$15 on the lid of the box and dated it. I was going to track to see how long it would take me to justify the expense.

March went a whole lot better because I invested in a $5 mirror I could use sitting down. My lines weren’t perfect and as my April session came and went I decide the reason it was not up to Crysti’s standards was because I wasn’t taking ENOUGH off. Like so many things in my life I wasn’t COMMITTING.

May rolled around and I set up the pot and the mirror and took a deep breath. I flipped the mirror to the stomach rolling magnification side (reminded me of trying to get into scuba gear in the bottom of the boat, off the shore of Georgian Bay in six foot rolling waves). I start. If you ever want to really know what kind of hell you’ve put your skin through, examine it on the magnification side of one of these mirrors. Yikes! It’s really best not to dwell on it.

The wax flowed freely and I made a very artistic swipe with the stick. Without pausing I press on muslin and pull. Still looking in the magnification side, I do my tweezing finish. Wow, it looked great! Time to flip the mirror and take a look on the other side.

OMG! DO I HAVE AN EYEBROW LEFT? After hyperventilating for a few seconds, I put ice on my brow, hoping that it’s not as bad as I feared. And, surprisingly, it’s not. After slowing my heart rate, I wax the other side and I am moderately pleased with my progress in aesthetics training.

When I go into Crysti’s I feel confident enough to confess to her that I am waxing my own brows. I hadn’t told her up until then because if I had to run to her to fix something I thought I’d blame it on some nameless aesthetician in Kamloops…

Crysti laughed at me and gave me great tips for doing my brows that might just dispense with the drama involved in the process.

All of this begs the obvious question. Why bother waxing at all? It costs money, takes time and do I really need to do it? Aren’t I happy with how I look? Do I want to be teaching the wrong things to my daughters and son? Hmmm. I am so used to having nice neat eyebrows that I feel very conspicuous when they aren’t. I DO have a great self image and don’t think I go overboard with the wrong messages. Plus, we don’t have TV and this is great entertainment for the kids!!

With another success behind me in the Newton/Burkholder Personal Care Department I am now actively seeking an assistant to colour my hair in two months time. Crysti says to be careful because if I turn it green even she might not be able to fix it!!!